A Note About the Stone Wall

So, I finished my flower bed project today. But before I show you that, I wanted to tell you about the time Jimmy and I spent a Saturday dry-stacking the stone wall several years ago.

We still managed to stay married.

We were still speaking at the end of the day.

And by the evening, we were best friends all over again.

We have not always been this successful.

It all comes down to Strategy.

Ya gotta have one BEFORE you start. You know it’s gonna happen…so plan for it in advance.

So here’s what we did:

We decided that when one of us (ahem) said something that the other found offensive/insulting/hurtful/etc., the offendee would say “Dorito”. (We tried to pick the silliest word possible that had nothing to do with what we were doing, and didn’t make the other (ahem) feel as though they were in the wrong.)

Then, we had to smooch.

How can you be irritated at someone, think about Doritos (yum, especially with sour cream, but please don’t tell anybody) and then have to smooch on them?

It worked marvelously.

If nothing else, it makes both parties more aware of your choice of words. In the end, I think we only smooched once or twice.

At least, just after saying “Dorito.” 😉

Mission accomplished!

Gulf Shores

It’s not like I’m excited or anything.

Just because I’m going to be seeing my dear friends Peggy and John and be present as they begin their future together as a married couple.

Or be stuffing myself with seafood.

Or sitting on the beach with a good book.

Or having cocktails. I expect there will be a few of those.

And visiting the Flora-Bama Lounge again! (What a great place! I promise I will NOT be leaving my bra behind.) Seriously. There’s ropes with lots and lots of bras. This is a place with history, and what an interesting one! And bras.

I’ll take lots of pictures. And no doubt I will come home with lots of fun stories to share. And great memories.

And there are no dogs or cats there.

At least not with us. I love my children dearly, but it’s nice to be away. My little girls are away at ‘camp’ at the Hound Around Hotel, and they’ll have a blast.

Watch Facebook for updates on Gulf Shores. There’s some fun stuff scheduled here on the Sunshine Express while I’m gone. And I anticipate a whole lot of inspiration coming when I’m gone.

I just hope my car holds all our bags. 😀

Jimmy and I get along famously. We’ve never been The Bickerson’s in front of anyone else, or been cranky and irritable with one another. Or just flat out mad. No way.

And if you believe that, you clearly don’t know either of us very well. Sometimes when we’re trying to communicate, we collide. Or flat out just miss each other entirely!

One recent Sunday, Jimmy asked me, “Would you have time to pick out plants for the new duplex tomorrow?” Happy to help, I agreed I would go pick out the plants. After all, I was experienced at this. I had done it numerous times before. A 20-minute trip to the duplex told me all I needed to know. We agreed on the layout for the landscaping, I already knew which plants I was going to buy. Piece of cake. It should be quick and easy.

Should.

Midday on Monday, my phone rings. “Have you picked out the plants  yet?”

“No, I was just going to do that now,” I responded, feeling slightly guilty because I was at Wal-Mart.

“Well, are the guys still there? This wasn’t an all day project, you know.” (This should have been the first Red Flag that there was a breakdown in communication somewhere. But no, I didn’t get it. Remember, I’ve done this before, multiple times. We had a formula for success. I was following the formula.)

“No, was I supposed to?” I responded.

“Well, I’m not there. I just thought you’d check in with them before you went. They might already be done by now!”

Red Flag. I sense urgency. “Okay, I’ll go do it right now. Am I supposed to go ahead and BUY the plants?” (Remember, he said PICK OUT the plants. He says yes.) “Okay, I’ll go buy them and take them straight down there.” A trip to Home Depot, plants delivered, crisis averted. I pick up the phone.

“I dropped off the plants, the guys were still there, and I told them where to plant them. They are working on it now.”

“Good. Did you pick up fabric and edging? And whatever you want to use as mulch?”

I sighed. But only inside. “No, I didn’t know I was supposed to. You just told me to PICK OUT the plants. You didn’t tell me anything else.” At this point, we digressed slightly into the ‘who said what’ discussion, but fortunately Jimmy has gained wisdom with his years and opted to take the safest route and end the conversation.

Two more trips to Home Depot, one of them my own fault, would be made that day before I was done. And I was crabby. And irritable. Because I hadn’t planned for this. This was  not my emergency! I stewed. I stewed at least for a good 30 minutes after I got home from the last Home Depot run. It didn’t matter that the last run had been my fault. It was still HIS fault in my righteous mind.

And then I thought about it. I could continue to be mad and carry a grudge, but all I would be is mad. It wouldn’t change anything. And what I didn’t get done that day wasn’t rocket science or lifesaving or even really mattered when it came to the big scheme of things. I just did it another day. And Jimmy drove by the duplex that night and told me that yard looked good, which was all that really mattered anyway. Life is good.  🙂

 Whether you are a mom to human children or animal children, I hope you enjoy a wonderful day filled with the blessings of family.

Meanwhile, there are many of us whose mothers have moved on and are hopefully having a blast in Heaven. (Since my parents met at a dance, I like to think of them dancing together there, and having a party with all the friends and family who’d gone before them.)

I miss my momma. I remember she said to me one time, “You miss your mother when they’re gone,” meaning that not only would I miss her, but she still missed her own mother. And she was right.

Even though I tried to rack my brain and think, “Is there anything I want to ask her before she goes?” I couldn’t think of a thing. Until about a week after she was gone, and now I think of all kinds of things.

She had a lot of fun in her life, and she said a lot of funny things, and I’ll have those memories forever. And someday, I’ll see her again, although no offense mom, I kinda hope it’s later than sooner. 🙂

So Big Hugs to all of you who are missing your mothers today right along with me. Let’s have some cake. My mom loved cake. 🙂