At first, I thought it was silly.  I knew I had a great life and I didn’t think keeping a Gratitude Journal or having an “Attitude of Gratitude would make any difference.

So if you were thinking the same thing after reading my post last week, I don’t blame you.

I’d tried several times to start a Gratitude Journal, but that intimidating blank sheet of paper stared at up me every night. I couldn’t take the pressure. 😀

Usually I was too tired to think, couldn’t think of anything, or I felt like I was writing the same things over and over: health, family, husband, dogs, blah blah blah.

The big things are important, yes. But those little things that go unnoticed in your day really have Big Power to change your perception. Most of these moments end up as fleeting thoughts running through your head with everything else that day.

A common thread in every book I’ve read, whether it be Joel Osteen, Dr. Wayne Dyer or the Bible is that if you want more of the good things, you need to be grateful for everything you have now.

I find that I have greater success in any endeavor if I start by taking small steps forward, because we all know that progress, even slow, is still progress.

My first baby step was noticing these moments and acknowledging them with a simple “Thank you God!” (Of course you can modify this to fit your personal beliefs.)

To demonstrate the power of this exercise, I chose a random day to write down every Gratitude Moment as I experienced it in a small notebook I always carry in my purse.

As it happened I picked the perfect day: I was cranky.

I want to be very clear: you can STILL be cranky and grateful and positive at the same time. I do not enjoy being cranky, and certainly no one else in my family does either! 😉

The beauty of this whole exercise is that at some point you realize you have so many little things to be grateful for that you aren’t cranky anymore.

If you’re having a rough day or a difficult time, this exercise is even more important. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and forget there are good things that happen too.

So here’s what else happened that day:

1. There was a beautiful, hushed quiet of falling snow outside in the darkness of 1 a.m. (I had a foster dog who needed to go out or I would have missed this moment of peacefulness!)
2. My yard was a winter wonderland in the early morning daylight. The dusting of snow on everything including the trees was gorgeous.
3. I love the way my Yoga class stretches my body, increases my flexibility and hushes my thoughts.
4. The shop office had a cleanly swept floor and I appreciated my husband sweeping it for me.
5. I parked in the very first non-handicapped parking space at Walmart!
6. My lunch plate made an unexpected beautiful and colorful presentation.
7. The excellence of a single piece of decadence in a single piece of dark, rich soft chocolate with mint.
8. The heated towels of the body wrap softened my sore muscles and skilled hands of my massage therapist worked the kinks out. What a special treat!
9. I noticed the sun’s rays peeking through the clouds on my way home. It was such a contrast to the clouds above it!
10. I received great news after a routine medical test.
11. It feels SO good to come home at the end of the day, turn on all the lights and light a good-smelling candle. And it was Friday!
12. I didn’t have to go out in the cold anymore that day!
13. My handmade pottery soup bowls I’ve collected over the last couple of years at a local arts fair looked so pretty holding a bowl of my husband’s homemade chili.
14. It felt so good climbing into bed blissfully early into freshly laundered flannel sheets and a heated mattress pad.

As I read over this list, I don’t even remember that I began the day tired and crabby. I read this now thinking what a really awesome and blessed day it was. And it’s all because of a simple little gratitude exercise.

We all have a choice: we can choose to remember the challenges, or to look at and appreciate the special moments in our day that might be lost otherwise.

Give it a shot and see if it works for you.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock  you’ve learned that the world is a very negative place.

Between the news, social media and negative or critical people, it’s easy to believe that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. That’s real encouragement to want to get up in the morning, eh? 😉

The great news is that most of us have the ability to make choices. Unless you have a medical issue or chemical imbalance, it IS possible to become a more positive person and become less influenced by the world around you.

I know this because I’ve done it. 

Like happiness, being positive is both a choice and a habit. Most of the times it comes pretty easy, although there are times I have to work harder at it. This summer I went through a dark period and I knew I needed something else.

That’s when I discovered Joel Osteen and his book, Every Day A Friday. As my friend Joe says, “He’s sort of a cross between a motivational speaker and a pastor.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

If you’d like to feel better about your life every day, here are my proven strategies for maintaining a positive outlook and enjoying each day to the fullest.

1. Tell yourself when you wake up that it’s going to be a great day. 
2.  Start your day with something uplifting. Whether it’s cat videos on the internet or an inspiring, motivational book, spend your early morning hours with something that makes you feel good. One of my bucket list items is to read the Bible in its entirety, so I began reading it and a daily devotional each morning. If you have to, get up 30 minutes earlier than everyone else in your household. I love having my tea and the quiet of my living room to meditate and read. My morning routine gives my day a centered, peaceful feel and just kicks it off right.
3. Practice an Attitude of Gratitude. Annoying frustrations happen to us all, every day, and it’s easy to focus on those things. Look for opportunities for gratitude in the small things that happen in your day. Were you blessed with a prime parking space? An unexpected treat? Did you miss having a fender bender? Lose a pet and find it again? Catch a great bargain on a long-desired item? This morning when I got my daily smoothie I noticed someone had stamped a motivational message on my $10 bill. How cool is that?! Those little things, all worthy of gratitude, add up and before you know it, you’re starting to watch for them!
4. Minimize social media time. While I love the way social media allows me to keep up with long lost friends and family, there are aspects of it that I don’t love either. It can be a time-sucking habit. Unfollow, unfriend, delete, and block if you need to. We aren’t in second grade anymore and so what if you don’t get any gold stars? Ain’t nobody got time for that! Dirty laundry belongs in your hamper, not shared on social media. And speaking of sharing, make it a point to emphasize the good news minimize the bad. Sure, we all go through times we need extra encouragement. Don’t be Debbie Downer!
5. Avoid or minimize exposure to toxic people. I know this is easier said than done if you work with or are related to “shine blockers”. We all have those folks in our lives who can bring on the buzzkill faster than it takes coffee to brew. My personal toxic favorite is the Smiling Digs, otherwise known as Negative Humor. Because we all know if they are smiling, they are just kidding, right?! (insert eye roll here) If you are related to a toxic person it’s more important than ever to avoid the ones you have a choice about and to build yourself up. Unless it’s constructive and your job depends upon it, ignore critical people; the problem is usually within them. You don’t have to be rude, but you don’t have to accept every invitation either.
6. Reprogram negative thoughts. Delete those negative tapes in your head that criticize you or try to hold you back. Replace every negative thought with a positive one. Our brains like to trick us and make us believe things that aren’t true: no one will like that, no one wants to hear it, blah blah blah. Reprogram those thoughts! I promise you that if you make a conscious effort to reprogram, that inner voice will get quieter over time.
7. Spend a little time alone every day. Some of us need more time than others, and I know it’s harder if you have the chaos of a busy family. Try to carve out 10 minutes to meditate, read, take a hot bath, or Just Be. And try to quiet your mind while you’re doing it. This is why I’ve found yoga so addictive…it quiets my mind while I’m stretching and strengthening my body.

And yeah, I’m still working on trying to quiet my mind. We’re all a work in progress, friends. 🙂

Cheers!

On this Mother’s Day, whether your mom is in heaven or clinging to this life, this post is for you. If you know someone who is still grieving the loss of their mom, please feel free to share.

I’ve heard her say my name at least twice.

My mom went to heaven in October of 2010, 2 years and 346 days after my dad.

As a kid, I was extremely shy, sensitive and introverted, and in grade school, I remember clinging to her when she would visit my classroom.

As an adult, I had the good fortune to spend a lot of time with, and enjoying, my parents. For that, I am grateful. Like all family relationships, it wasn’t always pretty, but life never is. You don’t appreciate the good without some of the bad.

Years later, my parents’ health declined and they moved off the farm and into the town I lived in. After my dad passed away, my mom relied on me even more.

I don’t regret this. Even though it may exhaust your patience, it is time you will never get back.

Grief is very complex and personal, and unfortunately, it’s not a subject many people know how to talk about. And however you choose to experience your journey: it’s okay. If you have an ailing loved one or one who has recently passed, you may want to read my post about grieving the loss of my parents: Grief Is a Personal Journey 

I was working in the kitchen a few years ago and heard my mom say my name.

It was so clear and audible that I looked behind me to see if she was in the room. This wasn’t the first time I heard her voice.

Another time I was cleaning out the basement. I had a bin of household bills from 2005-2006 that belonged to my parents. My mother was one of those people who grew up very poor during the depression and saved EVERYTHING, so these things would probably have been important to her.

I grabbed a chair and the bin and sat in front of the fire pit. I sorted through a few things and tossed them in the fire, where soon it began smoking with the new fuel.

The smoke wafted in my direction, so I shifted my chair and repeated this process. Again, the smoke drifted in my direction. This scenario repeated itself over and over, until I had moved six times and arrived back at my starting point.

It was both funny and exasperating at the same time. I stood up and said out loud, “Okay mom, you’ve made your point. I’ll put this away.” 😀

As a creative person, you have to be open to inspiration and ideas. Signaling inspiration is like putting a huge antenna out in the Universe and trying to tune in Tokyo. That’s really the best way to explain it.

And, just like a TV antenna, sometimes you get weird stuff that comes in along with the ideas. When I get stumped, I reach out to my friend Bess, who’s been trained as a medium.

Bess isn’t her real name, but Bess prefers to remain incognito about her skills, which is perfectly understandable considering the rural nature of where we live.

Bess told me that my mother was hovering because she was concerned about me, and described how she was making her presence felt.

The moral of this story is you don’t need someone else to tell you how your loved one is with you. It’s not like those who have gone before us can have a conversation.

Whether a dream, a drift of smoke, a beautiful sunset, a snippet of song or a beautiful flower…your loved one is there. If you haven’t felt it, don’t worry. Your loved ones are looking over you now, and will be waiting to greet you on the other side.

Slow down, open your eyes, and breathe in what this life has to offer. Little gifts come our way every day, and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to take the time to notice them.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I read this quote several years ago in a book by the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, and thought “Whoa.”

It still strikes me even now. And it struck me even more when it dawned on me that I had more years in my life BEHIND me than in front of me. Now there’s a sobering reality.

And just like that, I began to embark on an extended period of change. A “transition.” You know, one of those words similar to “learning experience.” A word or description that typically indicates a tumultuous period of ups and downs, whether we’re talking about life or the weather.

In my case, it brought about a career change, learning new skills, health concerns, the painful end of one professional relationship and the beginning of another, and oh yes, lest I forget, a hurricane. (insert eye roll here.)

During all of this, I didn’t feel like myself. I began to question everything, especially my safety.

I began to worry about things I’d never worried about before: my personal safety, my family’s safety, flying, not flying, driving, blogging, not blogging, my health, hurricanes, dogs, politics, people, approval, social media, blah blah blah blah.

The irony of all this is that most of what weighed me down was out of my control anyway. And it was a waste of precious energy.

So back to the question of music.

I think the hardest question for all of us to answer is, “What IS my music?” We are all gloriously different, thank goodness, so each of us have different “music” to offer the world.

Writing has always been my music, and when blogging came along, it really scratched my itch. But then life got in the way, as it often does, and I began to overthink things.

Prior to my…ahem…”transition”…I began to worry. Am I writing what people want to read? Is anyone out there? Does anybody really care?” I feel like breaking into song. 😀

I lost the joy of making my music.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned during this period (today, actually) it’s that your music is at its best when you do it purely, authentically and joyfully from the heart, with no attachment to any outcome. That’s when it’s YOU.

On the drive back from Florida this year, a thought popped in my head: “Maybe I should start blogging again.”

A few weeks later, I ran into my friend Johnna and her husband at Colton’s.

“Are you still blogging? I loved your blog!” she said.

There’s my sign. 😉

So, I’m back.

I really have no idea where this is going or what’s going to channel onto the page. And that’s the fun of it! I’m just the equivalent of a writing pen for an intangible, unnamed creative source.

I hope you enjoy it, and if you don’t, that’s okay. Because I’m writing for me. So hang on, this may be a bumpy ride! 😀

Cheers, friends. Make it a great day.

Julie Bauer Cook grew up in the suburbs of El Dara, Illinois and remains her father’s daughter. She is intrigued and comforted by the ordinary in her days.

In the modern age, I assume that nearly 13 years of service is a good lifespan for a crockpot. We’ve recently suffered through a few rounds of scorched spaghetti sauce and soup to get to this point, but I’ve not been able to let go of the stainless steel model that has nourished our family’s bellies and my soul since early 2004.

I bought the crock pot whilst in a fog at the newish Farm & Fleet in Muscatine, Iowa, on a whim, with a howling newborn in the cart and a sad toddler in tow. My initial plan was to muster all the strength I had that day to return the Christmas presents I had bought for my dad, who had died on December 26, following an expeditious and aggressive illness after 67 years of exemplary health. The morning began with a mournful unwrapping of each brightly wrapped package and stuffing the contents that were Art’s characteristic plaid shirts and favorite gloves into a sack, lacking a receipt for exchange.

The Midwest farmer and his daughter ready to depart for FHA Dad’s Night Out circa 1984.

Over the howling newborn, I learned that despite the unfortunate circumstances, I would only be afforded store credit based on current pricing. Chased by the questions of the sad toddler, I raced the cart through the home goods section to grab something to which I could apply the store credit. And, with that, I grabbed the stainless steel crock pot, which at once symbolized all that I had lost that Christmas and all that I hoped to gain by putting one foot in front of the other.

The well-used crock pot bought with the store credit from Dad’s Christmas gifts not given.

As I healed my soul, I slowly returned to a new normal and slow cooking food that would bring a smile to the sad toddler’s face and cease the howling of our family’s second baby boy.The slow cooker produced food that comforted us through post-trick-or-treating dinners, cold winter nights, soup day Sundays, and freezer meals following my own health hurdles. While no one else knew, each time I washed and dried the crock by hand, I was reminded of the comfort I felt in being Art’s daughter—the gifts I was unable to give to him that Christmas nourished me for all those intervening years.

So, as I retire the stained and dented silver slow cooker, it is yet another act of putting one foot in front of the other.

Moving on. Aqua makes me happy, and I’ve decided that happy is a good thing to be.

Because I spent about 40 years going to school, I think of a New Year beginning in September rather than January. How can you get excited about turning over a new leaf in the middle of winter?

Anyway, the “Back To School” time of year always gets me excited. Time to start a new year, new energy, new changes, new stuff, new adventures, a new opportunity to re-invent myself!

A necessary part of that Re-invention is Reflection: the pursuit of evaluating your life and looking at what’s working, what’s not, and where do you want to go with what you’ve got?

“They” say with age comes wisdom. And that wisdom eventually brings the realization that suddenly, without being quite sure how it happened, you wake up one day and there’s more life behind you than in front of you.

Wow. Heavy, eh? That’s exactly what happened to me.

I began to examine my life, the way I was living it, the things I filled my time with. While many of those activities were enjoyable, and at one time even satisfying, had I simply kept doing them without thinking? Like I was on auto pilot?

Suddenly I felt like I was wearing a pair of shoes that had grown a little too snug. While they didn’t exactly hurt, they felt…constricting. Uncomfortable. And SO  last year! 😉

When you realize there’s more of your life behind you, what’s in front of you becomes precious. 

This doesn’t involve leaving my husband, either, just in case you were wondering. 😀

What do I want to do? What am I good at? What brings me pleasure? What endeavor brings me so much joy that it doesn’t feel like work?

Tom Corley, author of Rich Habits, said in a recent newsletter: “Your job is to figure out what your superpowers are, your strengths, and then figure out a way you can use your superpowers to add value to the lives of as many people as possible. The money will follow when what you do for a living adds real value to the lives of others.”

Ok, great! But what does that mean for me?

While I haven’t totally figured out the answers yet, it’s really made me slow down and think. How can I add value in this lifetime? What does the world need? What should I do differently?

Of course, there’s always the issue of time: Do I have enough time? How will I fit this in around my work? (Because after all, we all have to earn a living!)

I began to take a serious look at how I spent my time. 

I began to take stock of everything I was involved in; what rewarded me? What brought me satisfaction? What did I enjoy? What fit into my life’s mission? (Whatever that is!) What felt meaningful? What did I look forward to?

On the opposite side of the spectrum, which activities that, once enjoyable, now felt like an obstacle course? Where did I feel like I was exerting enormous amounts of energy only to see minimal or no progress?

It’s human nature, especially as we age, to want to avoid change. Yet sometimes change is necessary on a personal or organizational basis in order for us to grow, and none of us embrace it or realize it at the same pace. Neither right, wrong or indifferent, that’s just the way it IS.

And then suddenly, you wake up one day and realize that you’re wearing those ill-fitting shoes that I referred to earlier. If you’re very involved, it can feel as if you are trying to drag a lumber wagon up hill. Both ways. It can be exhausting and frustrating at the same time!

WHAT IF…I opened up my schedule enough to leave myself time to think. What if I started all over again: freed up my schedule outside of my work and opened up blocks of time.

After all, if you want good things to come into your life, you have to make room for them.

My niece and I were just talking about this very topic today. (Funny we were on the same wavelength!) What new ideas, projects or opportunities might come my way if I opened up some space?

Inspiration is a necessary ingredient for creativity. And it’s impossible to be inspired with a packed schedule and a long ‘To Do’ list.

At first, the thought was kind of scary. In some form or another, anything we’re involved in has a reward of some sort. Whether it’s public recognition or the simply the good feelings of having made a positive difference, that reward is why we keep doing things.

The first thing I had to do was let go of the need for the reward. And that, my friends, took some doing. I’ll be honest.

But now that I’ve taken that step and let go of some things, I find I’m looking forward to my days again. I’m enjoying my work, enjoying my daily round and that peaceful feeling of contentment has returned. And with it, inspiration. For myself, and for others.

I have no idea where this adventure will take me, and that’s OK. That’s part of that beautiful mystery of life. We’ll see what opportunities come along and see where it takes me.

What about you? Are you on auto-pilot? Are there things you’re doing still that you no longer enjoy?

Cheers, friends!